Winning With Love and Compassion

By Carol Tobias, National Right to Life, President

Editor’s note. This appears on page three of the May issue of National Right to Life News 

In May of 2022, NRLC led more than 70 state, national, and international pro-life organizations in issuing an open letter to the nation’s legislators. We urged them to reject legislation and policy initiatives that would impose criminal penalties on women who have abortions. The argument put forth in that letter still stands.

Far too often, women are pushed into an action they don’t want, making them victims as well.

A recently-released study from the Elliot Institute found that 70% of aborting women felt “pressured to abort by other people or circumstances,” and “nearly 13% of the women described their abortions as ‘coerced.’”

Yes, many women know what they are doing and seek an abortion anyway, but far too many others do not make that decision willingly. They ask themselves, “How do I care for a baby when I’m struggling to take care of myself?” or “How do I feed my baby when I don’t know if I’ll have a paycheck, or even a place to live, next month?”

Not all women grow up in ideal homes with a loving, understanding mother and father. One or both parents may be awful to deal with. If they give her an ultimatum of “get an abortion or get out,” she may truly believe she has no option.

Or her parents love her and think they are protecting her by telling her, “You have your whole life ahead of you. We’re not going to let you ruin your future by having a baby at your age.”

Or maybe she is being pressured by the father of the baby. We hear far too many times of a husband or boyfriend pushing the woman to get an abortion because he does not want to be a father.

As Tammy De Armas wrote in Live Action News: “I wanted my baby. I felt the bond early. I also knew that I wanted to stay with my boyfriend. Like so many others, I felt that if I chose to continue carrying the baby, I might lose him. For those who have never had to make this choice, it seems like a ‘no-brainer’ to choose to protect the life of the baby. How I wish that to be true. When you are scared, you don’t think clearly.”

What does a woman do when her family and friends are not just encouraging, but strenuously pushing or threatening, her to end the life of her unborn baby?

This isn’t a reason or excuse to justify abortion, but it brings us face to face with reality– who is really responsible? Who would be charged?

If penalties are going to be attached to a woman for getting an abortion, are her parents and/or the father of the baby also going to be investigated and possibly charged? What about the friends who keep telling a vulnerable young woman to get an abortion? Are they accessories?

And who is going to determine whether the pregnancy ended as a result of the abortion pill or a natural miscarriage?

Soon, the focus is on “who is guilty” and “what are the circumstances?” … and the precious unborn child gets lost in the conflict.

That is why the pro-life movement has focused on legal penalties for abortion providers. Their advocacy and willingness to perform abortions is a key part of the pressure to abort.

Circumstances and so-called “loved ones” can talk or coerce a woman into an unwanted abortion. That’s largely why pregnancy care centers came into being. Many women need to have someone “in their corner” to help them understand that, even though current circumstances may be difficult, options and help are available.

Tessa Longbons Cox, senior research associate at the Charlotte Lozier Institute, stated, of women who have aborted, that, “Sixty percent reported that they would have preferred to give birth if they had received more emotional support or financial security.”

The effectiveness of the pregnancy centers in helping women is exactly why the centers have come under attack by the pro-abortion movement and its allies in state government. Several governors, state attorneys general, and legislators are doing their best to shut down the centers because they don’t want vulnerable women to have options.

One last note— There are some who want to punish women for getting an abortion. That is absolutely the wrong way to try to win the battle for Life.

Every woman who gets an abortion has a father/ mother/ husband/ boyfriend/ friend who will be furious at the thought of her going to jail. This path will succeed only in initiating the repeal of pro-life laws that actually do make a difference in saving lives.

If we truly want to protect babies, we need to help and support their mothers. And we do that by changing hearts and minds, creating a culture where every child is loved and moms are supported.